Lost on the trail

Good manners in the woods

Drew Schlussel

05/29/2008 - Now that the snow is really starting to melt above 9,000 feet, the buds on the aspen trees are starting to bloom and the hikers are starting to hike. Just this past weekend (Memorial Day weekend), despite the poor weather, we had a steady stream of hikers and bikers on the trails in the national forest behind my house. While I’d prefer to have peace a quiet, I can appreciate that there are so many folks that want to commune with nature. I just wish they’d put in a little extra effort and do it somewhere besides my back yard.

  It’s always easy to tell the difference between the locals and the tourists. The locals have a water bottle, a keen memory for where every trail goes, and the good sense to avoid private property. The locals get on the trail early in the day, avoiding the heat, bugs, and early afternoon thunderstorms.

  The tourists have enough gear for an expedition up Everest – they have two gallons of water, food for a week, and hiking boots that are built to support the weight of a week’s worth of gear. Tourists have no idea where they’re going – they just park their SUV at the first trailhead they find and follow the yellow brick road, expecting to find the Great Oz at the end of the rainbow.

  Worst of all, they have no respect for private property. Despite the “No Trespassing” signs, the log barriers, and the ferocious barking (of my dogs, not me) tourists still walk into my yard, asking the same questions I’ve heard for years – “Where does this trail go?”, “Can you tell me how to get back to my car?”, and “Can I use your phone, I’m late for dinner.” If I’m in a devilish mood I’ll have a little fun with them and answer their questions with a hill-billy drawl – “This trail here goes over there, then goes up a bit, around some, and back to here. Where did you want to go?”, “I’d tell ya how to get back to yer car if I thought it was still where you left it.”, and “Phone? Heck, we ain’t got one of them fancy phones. We just yell real loud through the barrel of our shotguns.”

  What really steams me is the fact that less than two miles away are a series of trails that anyone can find if they just spent five minutes looking at a map or researching trails at the library. Just five minutes of effort will put hikers into a wilderness area that provides the quiet solitude most hikers talk about as their reason for hiking. What gives? Why are folks so lazy, or so scared, that they can’t spend five minutes and drive two more miles to get what they really want?

  When I go fly fishing, I live by the 15 minute rule. The rule is pretty simple. When you get on the trail, you don’t even think about casting a line until you’ve walked for at least 15 minutes away from the trailhead. Better yet, for areas that are really popular, I’ll stretch 15 minutes into 30 or more. By getting farther away from the trailhead and the other (lazy) fisherpersons I can almost guarantee that I’ll have a stretch of creek or river all to myself for a few hours.

  To all the locals that know what they’re doing and respect private property – thanks. Stop by anytime for directions or to use the shotgun phone. To all the tourists – our local libraries have an excellent selection of books on hiking trails. The train car coffee shop in Ned also sells maps. Get one and learn how to use it – you might discover something other than my backyard, along with the peace and quiet of a real wilderness experience. I suggest you look for trails in the Indian Peaks Wilderness area, James Peak Wilderness area, or Rocky Mountain National Park.

  P.S. – Congratulations to Tess Brownson on your scholarship award from the Art Institute of Colorado! Check out http://www.artinstitutes.edu/Competitions/bestposterwinners.aspx to see Tess’ winning poster.

  P.S.S. – I got a letter in the mail (real mail, not email) this week from a young reader that wants to tell me about her idea for recycling in Gilpin County. I’ll let you know what she has to say in a future article.