How do you handle crisis?

Jackie Jones
GCN Columnist

02/15/2007 - For the last two weeks I have been writing about conflict and conflict resolution styles. This week’s column is still along those same lines but a new statistic has me troubled. I got it off of the Internet today. It was published in the February edition of Pediatrics, a medical journal. The headline reads like this: “Youth suicides rise after decades of decline.” It goes on to say, “New government figures show a surprising increase in youth suicides after a decade of decline, and some mental health experts think that the drop in the use of antidepressant drugs may be the blame. The suicide rate climbed 18% from 2003 to 2004 for Americans under age 20, from 1,737 deaths to 1,985. Most suicides occurred in older teens, according to the data – most current to date from the federal Center for Disease Control and Prevention.” I also have been reading in publications for seniors that depression is on the rise for our elderly. What’s up with that?

  I have some definite thoughts on the subject. I am currently taking an antidepressant and still struggle with suicidal thoughts at times. This is a reasonably short column so I will honor the requirements of this kind of media presentation and not bore you with my issues. However, for the purpose of this discussion, I feel a need to say that I resisted antidepressants for most of my life. I would not be alive today without them now. I was very supportive of not prescribing so many medications for psychological issues at the early ages and that has become very common. Personally, I think Americans are overmedicated and should try other approaches first, but sometimes the medications are needed. I do, however, heartily recommend that the patient has talk therapy while being medicated for any psychological reasons, including depression. Sally Bonkrude used to write this column and she was my therapist. As far as I’m concerned, Sally is the best therapist in the world and I would recommend her for anyone. She has saved my life many times and in many ways, including getting me through some times when all I could think about was suicide. However, there are other therapists who are good and if you contact me by e-mail or send an inquiry by mail to my address, P.O. Box 1167, Nederland, 80466, I would be happy to try to refer you. As a retired school psychologist, I know a few in the area. Let me give you the symptoms of depression, as defined by the Pediatrics medical journal: Persistent sad or anxious mood; Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism; Feelings of guilt or worthlessness; Loss of interest in hobbies or activities; Fatigue or decreased energy; Difficulty concentrating or making decisions; Insomnia or oversleeping; Changes in appetite or weight; Thoughts of death or suicide; Restlessness or irritability; Headaches or chronic pain.

  I hasten to add that there is another disorder called bipolar mood disorder or manic/depressive mood disorder. It is very easy to get treated for that condition as well and extremely important to do so. In the manic/depressive condition the patient cycles between episodes of depression with high energy and almost euphoric moods, so it’s difficult to put your finger on the needs. One key component that can be easy to spot is, the manic episodes are often punctuated with an angry outburst, which is then followed by depression.

  Sally’s therapy model is that she doesn’t like to use labels, which I like, but something or someone needs to get the person’s attention and get them motivated to seek help, and describing symptoms can help nudge someone to get the help that they need! No one knows better than I how seductive that suicide option seems at times when you are depressed, but it is not the answer! If you cannot afford a regular therapist, and few can these days, there are groups who work with a sliding fee. I think that group up here is Columbine Family Health Services. If you are not living in this area, call the mental health number in your phone book.

  Many with mood disorders have lives which are always in crisis, partially because they’re not functioning very well in the day-to-day life kind of things. So how do you handle crisis?

  One thing is for sure, whether we have underlying psychiatric needs or not; crisis and conflict continue to happen in all of our lives. It’s part of the experience of living and it’s not going to go away. We can let it handicap us or we can deal with it on our own, in responsible ways, or we can get help, becoming stronger and moving on. The Chinese word for crisis is composed of two characters. One means danger and the other means opportunity. Take this opportunity to do something to change your life for the better. If you are in pretty good shape but know of someone else who is in need, have some compassion and try to get them to some help. Don’t shun them. Be sure to call to “check in” with people who are struggling with mental health issues. I think that people who fail to do this simply don’t know what to say. Asking a person if they are thinking about suicide will never put suicidal thoughts in another person’s head. They may get angry with you but at least they will know that someone cares. I would love to talk about this with you and your neighbors. 

   I encourage you to use my e-mail listed in the advertising below for my book and documentary DVD. Let’s begin dialoging about your thoughts about these articles or the book or our DVD. The DVD is actually a conversation between Sally and me about just exactly these kinds of things. We talk about the suicidal issues that came up for me and step by step ways that I learned to work through those episodes. The cost of the book and the DVD are really minimal and my hope is that they both will help others. It comes under the heading of self-help. Let Sally and me give you the tools. First view the DVD, possibly in groups, over lunch, coffee, whatever and then send me something by e-mail or by postal service. Please don’t call because I have trouble hearing on the phone. That old age stuff like loss of hearing is a pain but I would love to get your e-mails or your letters. I’m sure that I could find others in the community who would also be willing to join us in addressing your concerns. You may want to invite me to someone’s home when you have your friends together. I enjoy coming into homes to talk to groups about these issues and I can sign my books or our DVDs or whatever.  Talk to your church or the Elks or Rotary Club or people at the fire station or somebody into sponsoring a get-together to talk about this and other related topics. Let’s not wait for somebody near and dear to us to commit suicide. If someone you cared about committed suicide, you would all show up at the services. Why wait? Let’s get depression out of the closet and talk about it. Let’s talk about it just like we talk about the war in Iraq. Depression and suicide is a war and it really is a war we MUST win! We lose more American lives to suicide in this country than we lose to terrorists in Iraq and that doesn’t even touch the walking wounded with depression, treated or untreated.  I hope to hear from you. How about this? How about if I finish up what I have planned for conflict related columns? I have about four or five weeks’ worth of things to say about that kind of thing. I do feel that it’s an important topic and I have quite a bit of expertise in teaching in that area but I also have expertise in childhood development, parenting issues, school related problems, and mental health related problems. See my web page: AbridgeToHope.com. Tell me what you want to hear about. Let’s dialogue and then we’ll put it to a vote on the Internet. I’ll prioritize our topics according to how you vote, either by e-mail or by snail mail. Thank you for reading this column. It is a long one. Usually, I try to keep them shorter because I think that it is a bit intimidating to read through long newspaper articles. See you next week.