Have a dream?

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

2/23/2006 - When I finally earned my masters degree in psychotherapy, I had a plan to write a book, present workshops and seminars. But my plans were forgotten as I instead forged headlong into the challenges of creating and running a coffee house, teaching piano and voice, seeing clients and in general keeping myself way too busy.

  Have a dream or something that you feel is really important for you to do? What stops you? Maybe you want to go back to school, open a coffee house, become an artist, travel, do some personal work in therapy, live in a remote mountain cabin, change jobs…the list can be endless. So, first of all let's look at what stops us from doing what we want to do or in other words, traveling our life path.

  Often, time is the pin that bursts these dream bubbles. "I'm too busy now, I'll do it later," we say. Then later never comes. It's sad that we can be too busy for our dreams. I know I can procrastinate from doing what I want like a pro. I clean, watch television, read and shop. Then, when done, I'm too exhausted for that dream project. How could I possibly have time for anything else? Some of you may be thinking, but I have to work, take care of the house, family and with the commute my day is already eleven hours long. Many times I hear, "It's just not practical, I have to support my family; I have to have health insurance. I am so tired I can't even think about another thing; I've worked my way up the corporate ladder and wouldn't think of letting up now. When I retire I'll have time for dreams." This is convincing stuff, but is it really convincing enough for you to just give up on those life dreams? You will need to make your own decision about your path, but for me, I'm going to MAKE TIME, STOP PROCASTINATING and DO IT!

  Then, another dream stopper rears its ugly head, better known as friends and family. When I first decided to start writing my book, I was asked by a friend what I was going to do with all my free time now that the Coffee House was closed. I cheerfully announced, "I am writing a book." The first thing out of my friend's mouth was, "Oh, I have had five other friends who have written books, and none of them were ever published." At that moment, I interpreted that statement to sound more like this, "Who do you think YOU are. You must be nuts, there is no way YOU could ever get a book written or published. YOU are wasting your time, why don't you just get a job."

  Then, of course, you have the family. I can remember when I was a children's performer, traveling, writing and presenting music shows, my mother kept asking when I was going to get a real job. I haven't informed anyone in my family yet. I was always the black sheep of the family. It will be interesting to see how they react to my new "wild hair." I think I'll keep it to myself for a while. I'm lucky to have a husband, children and some friends that supply me with encouragement, love and support for any path I choose.

  When you start something new, there's always that fear of failure lurking around inside. This failure stands ready to stomp out any idea of stepping outside of the norm. "Better to play it safe," it says. "Be responsible, stay mainstream, don't step out of bounds into areas in which you have no experience," it says. "What will your friends and family think?" it says. I say grab hold of that fear, stay true to your life's path and follow your dreams.

  The other day when I was thinking about following my life path, I thought, "But it's too big. It's like climbing a really BIG mountain, when a fourteener would do me in." Then, I thought, "I don't have to climb the thing, I can fly to the top." Then, I thought, "But if I fly, I would miss seeing the spring flowers, the mountain streams, the waterfalls and George (my dog) would really enjoy the trip." So, I'm going to put one foot (one word) in front of the other and write a book. It's a big trip, but it's my path; sink or swim, it's what's important to me. It's that first step in the right direction for me. When do you take your first step?