Movie & Video reviews

Ben Dugan

2/16/2006 - The Family Stone (2005) 

On a recent trip to Salt Lake City I had some time to kill, so I went to the $1.50 movies (they really are $1 in SLC, $1.50 on Fridays and Saturdays). The first one was The Family Stone. This was an “everybody comes home for Christmas” movie. It was very similar to Home for the Holidays and any other home for the holidays movie. The twist in this one was that one of the family members brought home his uptight, ultra-responsible girlfriend to ask her to marry him.

  Everett Stone, played by the always cool Dermot Mulroney, has come home to celebrate Christmas with the rest of the Stone Family and he has brought his girlfriend, Meredith Morton, played by Sarah Jessica Parker, along with him. The rest of the family has their doubts about the two, plus, some of the family members don't even like her. Everett wants his mother, Sybil Stone (played by Diane Keaton), to give him her mother's wedding ring, but she doesn't want to. His brother, Ben Stone, played perfectly by the superb Luke Wilson, likes Meredith as well and he knows his brother doesn't love her, so he gets closer to her; he even takes her to a bar and gets her plastered and she winds up in his bed. Everett's father, played by Craig T. "Coach" Nelson, is stuck in the middle of all that is going on...he even gets high with his son Ben, eats brownies and they share a moment as we find out Diane Keaton is going to pass away soon. Everett's sister, Amy Stone, played by the adorable Rachel McAdams, hates Meredith...hates everything about her. Meredith then calls in her sister, Julie Morton, played by the beautiful Claire Danes, for some back up and eventually Everett falls in love with Julie in the process. Also starring Tyrone Giordano as Thad, Brian J. White as Patrick, Paul Schneider as Brad and Elizabeth Reaser as Susannah.

  The entire film proceeded in slow motion as each character and family was set up. It was generally a waste of two hours. It was a Christmas movie without any Christmas spirit, and a drama devoid of genuine emotion. Skip this one.

Turner and Hooch (1989) 

This is a cute, funny movie about a police detective and a big, ugly dog. It is a great light, funny comedy that everybody can enjoy. It does have a bit of violence, but it is not over the top with it. Hanks is his usual funny self, and this is one of his early roles, before he became the serious icon that he has become, and rightly so. But the STAR of the movie is HOOCH, the Dogue de Bourdeaux (or French Mastiff). This animal has the most charisma I have ever seen in a dog. The big red beautiful (in the eyes of the beholder) beast has everything it takes to steal the spotlight from Tom Hanks and everybody else in the movie. He is at the same time one of the ugliest and cutest animals ever on film. The dog is the star of the show and Tom Hanks clearly has a good time as he establishes a dynamic with the dog. This is a good rental. Check it out.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (2003) 

This movie was based on the Disneyland ride and has been extremely popular. Johnny Depp delivers a fantastic performance as Jack Sparrow.

  The film is set in the 1700s during the days of the British colonies in the Caribbean. A pirate captain named Sparrow (Depp) has had his ship - the Black Pearl - stolen by another pirate, Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). When Sparrow sails into Port Royal, he is incarcerated to await hanging. However, while he is in prison, Barbossa attacks Port Royal and kidnaps the governor's daughter, Elizabeth (Knightley). Knowing this, a young man named Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) suggests the governor release Sparrow to track down Barbossa and his men. Sparrow and Turner hastily put a crew together to go after the Black Pearl and Elizabeth. What neither one knows is that Barbossa and his crew have been cursed by an Aztec treasure that they stole, and to which Elizabeth is carrying the last missing piece. The curse laid on Barbossa and his men sentences them to eternal life - as the living dead, a ghastly group of skeletons and ghosts walking the decks of the Black Pearl. Until the last piece of treasure is returned - 'and the blood repaid' - Barbossa and his men will remain cursed. The blood to be repaid? Elizabeth's! Sparrow, Turner and their makeshift pirate crew hastily hijack a ship to go after the wily Barbossa and get the Black Pearl - and Elizabeth - back in one piece.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Review by Travis Lavan 

I read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy a long, long time ago - probably in junior high. The fact that I can't remember exactly when I read it tells me that I read it only once, because I am one of those people who has to read a book or see a movie at least twice to be able to remember precise bits and pieces of it. I recall being ambivalent toward the book, and the fact that I read it but once is probably the best evidence of that.

  So for the purposes of this review, let's assume there are only two kinds of people:

  A) Mister all business, no nonsense, doesn't understand science fiction or fantasy. This is the type of person who quickly becomes impatient with people who have every line from every Star Trek movie or Monty Python skit memorized and who regularly drop Dungeons and Dragons references into everyday speech.

  B) The type of person who has been asking Santa Claus every year for this film to be made. People like this are quite protective of the things they like, and they get a little intense when they're disappointed. They have every line from every Star Trek movie or Monty Python skit memorized and regularly drop Dungeons and Dragons references into everyday speech.

  I am neither of these people, but I do understand them both. I enjoy science fiction and fantasy and would like to think I have a pretty active imagination, but reality is much more important (although not necessarily as interesting) to me than the world of the fantastic. My reaction to HGG the novel was to more or less shrug it off and get on with my life. I can't quote you any lines, I don't remember most of the characters and I don't even know what I eventually did with my copy.

  I certainly don't remember enough about the book to tell you precisely what was different about the movie, and I came away from the movie just as puzzled as when I read the book.

  Back to our test subjects.

  Type 'A' will not understand this film at all and certainly has never read the book. Type 'B' has read the books, seen the BBC Miniseries, played the text based video game from the 1980s, been there, done that, and bought all the action figures from eBay…and just might be equally disappointed by the movie. It isn't that it wasn't entertaining and fun. It is just that while the film apparently does differ a great deal from the book (which may infuriate type B), it also has the same flaws as the book - there is no over reaching theme or plot arc that I could identify and the humor is scattershot and often opaque (which may infuriate type A).

  Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) is a typical middle class Englishman from Cornwall, a laid back English town near the coast where nothing ever really happens. One morning he wakes up to find that his house is being bulldozed for a highway bypass, that his best friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def) is an alien and that his entire home planet is slated for destruction, just like his house.

  The Earth is bulldozed to make way for a galactic bypass, Ford and Arthur hitch a ride off the world on one of the construction ships and next thing you know our heroes are off on a madcap deep space adventure filled with fun, freaks and large doses of comedic irony. Arthur and Ford are eventually joined on their trip by the other last remaining human in the galaxy, an acquaintance of Arthur's named Trillian (Zooey Deschanel, one of the coolest names I have ever heard), and the President of the Galaxy, Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell).

  Zaphod is one of the most interesting and irritating things about the film, an entertaining cross between Bill Clinton and Elvis who carries part of the film with his zany charm and weighs down the rest with his tedious ignorance.

  The film's humor is on a level you might call highbrow intellectual irony - the Vogons, a race of remorseless bureaucrats, inhabit a world where original ideas are immediately punished in most amusing fashion. There exists in the universe a gun that when used on an enemy does not kill them but forces them to see things your way.

  Yes, that is irony for you.

  The problem is that for all the humorous situations and unexpected intellectual stimulation offered up by this film, it feels much like a strung together series of Saturday Night Live skits with little connection and even less relevance as a coherent story. Maybe that's the point. Maybe the story is meant to be nothing more than a lark, a frivolous joy ride meant to stimulate you intellectually but not to lead you to any direct conclusions.

  If that's the case, that's fine with me and I can sleep easy knowing I was simply meant to think, but not to think about anything in particular. But most moviegoers demand more than that, and it is possible that while our Type B friend might be disappointed by this film's divergence from the book, he'll still be satisfied with its overall adherence to the spirit of the source material. But if you're Type A, you might want to find your entertainment elsewhere.