Always time for friends

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

2/9/2006 - My husband had this little story sent to him in an email last week and although its source wasn’t given, I’d like to share it with you. It’s a story about a mayonnaise jar and goes something like this: A professor puts a mayonnaise jar on his desk and fills it with golf balls. He then asks the class if the jar is full and the class dutifully answers, “yes.” Then, the professor adds a box of pebbles to the jar, which fills in the space around the golf balls. Again, the professor asks the class if the jar is full, and again the class answers, “yes.” Finally, the professor fills the jar with sand. “Now is the jar full?” he asks. The professor explains to the class that the golf balls represent the most important things in life. The pebbles are what you value on a secondary level and the sand is the everyday “busyness” that can fill up your time and keep you from acting on the important things in your life. After the professor explains all this, a student notices two cups of coffee sitting on the desk and asks him what those are for. The professor then pours both cups of coffee into the "filled" mayonnaise jar and says, “Well, in a full and busy life, there’s always room for a cup or two of coffee with a friend.”

  This is a great story, with lots of inner meaning and valuable lessons. What are your golf balls…the things you value most in life? If you don’t put them into the jar first, the jar (your life) will get filled with sand. Take some time to consider what you value above anything else and then look at your life to make sure that it is your top priority. You don’t have to follow what other people consider to be of value; explore your own inner world and see what’s true for you. This may be God, your spiritual self, family, animals, or the environment…do you give your top priority top billing in your life?

  Then, look at the pebbles, which may be your job, health, home, education, etc…it is your decision as to what your second-level priorities are in life. Again, don’t be quick to jump into believing what’s being pushed down your throat by television ads, the press, peer pressure, or what society and culture dictate. What’s important to you? Take your time to contemplate this second-level tier. Then, look at your life and examine whether or not these areas are getting the attention they deserve. If you don’t, you may be watching as the sand fills your jar, not leaving any room for those important things and consuming your every waking hour.

  Now consider, “What is your sand?” Sand could be something like watching TV, or sitting in a bar, cleaning things to spotlessness, overwork, video games or gossiping. Then again, your mind may be the sand as you get caught up in obsessive thinking about things you have no control over. Maybe someone cut you off in traffic and you’re still carrying around the anger. Or, maybe someone said something to offend you and you’re still caught up in the emotions over the comment. Sometimes it’s things like a flat tire, or a traffic jam, that direct our attention and emotions away from what’s important and divert our mind to the irritating sand of daily living. Take the time to figure out how you might turn that around to focus on the golf balls and pebbles in your life.

  Finally, the coffee… My grandmother, even on her deathbed, was offering coffee to everyone that entered her room. There’s always time for a cup of coffee. What’s more important than taking time with a friend? Are you rushed, have those “more important” things to do, or do you really stop and connect with the people in your life? It’s time for us all to examine the priorities we have in life and look closely at what’s filling up our own personal mayonnaise jar. Just a little food for thought around the coffee pot this week…