Simple Living

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

2/2/2006 - A dear friend of mine sent me an article from “Simple Living” written by Bob and Melinda Blanchard. As I read the article, I kept thinking, “Yes! That’s it! This is right on!” I sometimes think my husband and I are crazy for the decisions we make, so it was nice to have validation for our beliefs. What I got out of the article were three key points for creating the life that we are meant to live.

  The first key point, straight from the Blanchards' mouth, is, “If we don’t love it, we don’t do it.” This is their life motto, derived from the near death experience of their young son. This shock woke them up to realizing what’s important in their life. When I look at our experience with the Coffee House, I realize we were so totally driven and excited about creating this cozy little community hangout, that not even a freight train could have stopped us. Our little dream of living and working in the community was about to become a reality. I don’t regret the time or money spent in creating the Coffee House and then connecting with the community. It was our passion and love for almost two years of our lives.

  But one thing we can count on is that inner feelings and desires change. This leads to the second key point, and that is to continue to follow your passion. Life is uncertain; it doesn’t make sense to stay in a spot that no longer has that feeling of passion. So many times, people feel locked in their life situation. They feel they can’t make changes because of lack of money, education or it just feels impossible. For my husband and I, as we evaluated our life with the Coffee House, we realized that it was stopping us from following our passion, what we love to do. It was time for a change. It’s important to constantly evaluate where you are in life and, looking deep inside, ask yourself, “Is this where I want to be?” If the answer is no, it’s time for a change.

  The final key point is that, “your life is your choice.” Some people spend their whole lives in jobs they dislike, postponing things, in the hopes of retiring early or making that almighty dollar. Unfortunately, many of these people develop cancer or have heart attacks just at the very minute they feel they can begin to really enjoy their lives. Something seems backwards here. You may not have tomorrow; enjoy today. How many times do we have this message hit us over the head and yet don’t do anything about it? Why? Because we feel like we can’t.

  Looking at what gets in the way, it’s really a belief system. If the belief is, I need more money to make this change, you will feel justified and hopelessly stuck. Instead of making a change, you decide that you “have to” pull yourself out of bed every morning and spend your day hating every minute of it. But there is another way! The other alternative is, when life looks impossible, do your research. Look at how other people have made life changes. Go to your local library and explore alternative ways to live. Then, fearlessly move in a path that leads to your passion. If you find this new way not working, don’t be afraid to again make changes. The Blanchards started eight new businesses…and may be looking at their ninth. When they’re not having fun anymore they move on. For my husband and I, the Coffee House began to be like carrying around a large ball and chain. Now that we’ve let it go, we can begin to do what feels right to us now, which is to simplify. Steve loves his job as a Director of Software Development and I am looking forward to doing more writing and workshop presentations associated with my counseling and psychotherapy. We have made many changes in our lives…lived in three states, had many different jobs and at each crossroad, we have looked at each other and made decisions not based on money, but on our happiness. To others, I know, the many changes may have looked unstable, irresponsible, or just plain loony. What I know is that life’s about the journey and it doesn’t really matter what your life looks like to anybody else…it’s about following your passion.

  The Blanchards have a new book, “Live What You Love: Notes from an Unusual Life.” Reading this sounds like a good place for us all to learn how to stay with a life of passion.