Why Rumor Mills?

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

1/26/2006 - Many times I have heard Gilpin County described as being a “rumor mill.” Actually, I think this is true of most small communities, businesses and schools. The rumor mill can simply get started by someone overhearing something and then assuming they know the entire context of the statement and then broadcasting the misinformation to everyone they meet or talk to. Other times, people can get caught up in the drama of a situation and begin to exaggerate the information, turning a small problem into one of mammoth proportions. Sometimes, the rumor is created out of a person’s own personal anxieties or some feeling of inadequacy. They have a need to feel important and disseminating information that can bring someone else down can actually do this for them, fulfilling that need. Then again, a rumor can begin, based on a person’s need to feel powerful, and as we all know, knowledge is power even if it is made-up or misunderstood information. As others gather around to get the scoop, the storyteller feels a sense of connection, recognition and pride in being the one in the know. Again, the story is enhanced, passed on, misconstrued and the rumor mill is running at full tilt. It’s always interesting to me, that no one questions the story or bothers to go to the people directly involved to really understand what’s true and what isn’t. Instead, the misinformation is just accepted and believed. Scary thought for us all!

  Now, I like a good story, complete with colorful drama and sorry to say may listen to a few juicy tidbits of information. So, don’t think that I’m out to judge others for getting involved in the rumor mill. It’s just too easy to participate by listening and then forgetting to question the validity of the information. The problem is that it is real people in our community that get hurt…our neighbors. A rumor may cause others to withdraw their support and friendship, thus shutting the victims of the rumor out of the community. This damage can lead to hurt, depression and feelings of worthlessness. The whispers of others behind a person’s back can be worse than actually physically stabbing them in the back. Rumors can also damage businesses, reputations and has even been known to run people out of the county.

  It’s important for us all to remember that rumors and gossip, especially exaggerated to the point of no return, can be deadly. You may be thinking, “yes, but it’s really all so innocent.” This may or may not be true, but it’s something that we could all use a reminder on, to stop the runaway train of rumor in its tracks. If you happen to be in a group where the conversation is moving into conjecture and drama, speak up to change the content into information based on the individuals present and your own situation and feelings. Never believe anything about anybody else that you haven’t personally witnessed. Don’t make judgments about others based on what someone else tells you. Take the time to make up your own mind and look at the situation and/or person from your own eyes. I always remember that what people are telling me is based on their own personal perceptions, inner problems and past history. It is important to understand that your past history, your “baggage,” directly affects you. As we go through life, we see our own movie, after all we’re holding the camera. Someone else may be taking a totally different picture at exactly the same time and day and seeing a totally different story. I try to see other’s viewpoints with compassion for where they are in the moment. Sometimes, we all just need to vent and things come out that we wish we hadn’t said. Remember, that any information can be fuel for the rumor mill, even if it wasn’t meant to be repeated, especially by a second party. When someone is venting, let them vent and then just release the information to the wind. There just isn’t any need to repeat it.

  We constantly need to remind ourselves to think before we speak, but that’s not always easy to do. I get this! So, maybe it should also be up to the listener to filter the information in a way that rumors don’t get passed on. Listen with understanding, and let it go. Make your own opinions based on first person, real experience. In Gilpin County, if we all take on the responsibility for stopping the rumor mill, we can build a community based on love, understanding and compassion with a reputation of closeness and bonding. Wouldn’t that be nice? Just a little something to think about….