Opportunities for growth

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

1/12/2006 - “Limbo land” is that place you are in, when you have no idea where you are going or what you are going to do. This often happens when you make a move, change jobs, graduate from school, have a baby or retire, life-changing events. It can simply be a matter of timing that puts you into limbo land. For example, this happens when you put your house on the market and have to wait and wait to sell it, or wait and wait for a baby to come, or you’re interviewing and waiting to hear about a job. This not knowing or waiting puts us into a place where everything seems to be on hold. Life feels unstable, and you may feel out of control, not knowing what will happen next. When in limbo, it can feel like life is moving slowly, like you can’t move forward until the house sells, or until you find that new job, or until the medical test results come in; or you begin a new life path where you have no idea what direction it will take you. Navigating this shaky, uncertain and unsettling time in life can be difficult.

  Life always calls for patience and the ability to live with uncertainty and unknowingness. To live with a sense of openness to beauty and inner stillness, in the midst of chaos and unrest, is our constant struggle. We need to give up the illusion of stability and control to learn to flow with life as it comes our way. That doesn’t mean that we should not plan, have goals, dreams and work toward them. But it’s important to remember that nothing is guaranteed, and that we have to be flexible as life brings challenges, detours and daily surprises. To stay on our feet, we need to maintain balance and health. To become rigid in our thinking and/or plans makes it easy to be knocked off our feet. Staying grounded, centered and healthy, allows us to more easily flow through those times we land in limbo.

  Sometimes we make decisions and move forward just to be comfortable and have that sense of knowing and control. Then, we realize we once again have landed in a place that doesn’t feel right to us. But, it may feel better than that place of unknowing. It is difficult to be comfortable in the void of limbo land. I think it’s a place we need to get to know more intimately rather than running away from it. If you are in limbo, try to sit with the uncertainty in a way that just acknowledges what is true for you. Then, explore the beauty in the unknown. Don’t be afraid of it. It has been said many different ways that when, “one door closes another opens.” Be aware and flexible enough to realize when that other door opens. Look at the multitude of opportunities present in this mysterious place. Take time to look inside of yourself to understand your fears, strengths, and creativity. Welcome the time between things to get to know yourself in a way that prepares you for your next new adventure.

  So, don’t stop really living. Embrace the moment because the future is always uncertain. Take the time to spend time in nature, allowing time for self-reflection. Getting into the “Arts” is a great way to relax and develop self-understanding. Try taking singing, guitar or tackle any instrument you’ve always wanted to play. You have a little extra time; use it wisely rather than fretting or worrying about what may happen. Interested in painting or trying your hand at pottery? Go ahead. Who knows what you will learn that will help you to flow through your life in a healthier, happier way.

  To summarize, when in limbo, stay loose, explore, continue living and learning. Be open to new possibilities. Rather than ignoring your fears, face them as a way to learn about yourself. Use this time to practice flowing through life in the midst of chaos and change. I believe that challenges present themselves as opportunities for growth. I encourage you, no matter what, to not put your life on hold. You just never know what’s around the corner.