New Year's decisions

Sally Bonkrude
GCN Columnist

1/5/2006 - The New Year is here and with the passing of time, we are often presented with change and the need to make decisions…to evaluate where we are and look at where we might want or need to go. Making decisions and being open to change can be very trying and difficult. Sometimes the very thought of change can leave a person immobilized with indecision. The feelings of fear of the unknown can cause a person to be stuck in an unhealthy pattern for years. The question then becomes, what is involved in decision-making? Let’s look at some key points…

  The first question I ask myself, “Is what I’m doing affecting my health, either physically or emotionally?” If the answer is yes, it’s time to look at making a change, and then make a decision to live differently. Your health is usually the first clue that change is needed. Now, it might take some time to decide what that change will be, but the ball has been set in motion nonetheless.

  Next, spend some time looking at what you’re passionate about. If you have no clue what you enjoy doing, take time to try new things, read, take classes, and explore the world. Look for things that give you joy. For me, reading and studying psychology is like eating chocolate…I enjoy it completely. Working with folks on life issues is challenging, rewarding, and stretches me to continue my own personal growth. Doing psychotherapy is my passion. What’s your passion?

  Knowing your passion is great, but it’s not always practical to just follow your passion. So, getting back to earth based thinking, it’s important to think about the steps you will take to really follow that passion. Look at your situation and see clearly what domino effect your decision will have on your partner and family. There are times when taking personal and financial risks makes sense and other times when it’s better to take baby steps toward your passion. You have to look at your financial situation and what is affordable at the moment or maybe how you could improve your income to move toward having more time for your passion. Then, you have the matter of time, always a commodity that is in short supply. If you have children, they come first, so your passion may be a hobby for a time. Or, you may have to continue a full time job while exploring your passion during your vacations and free time. This leads us to the next step.

  Patience. Be patient as you attempt new things and be open to change as you learn. You may even find yourself needing to take a different path as you discover new passions. Be open to making mistakes and don’t judge yourself harshly. Enjoy every minute on the path and take it slow. The journey is just a journey; there is really no end…so the moment is what’s important.

Take your time. Look for ways to revel in the beauty of the steps.

  To review, first you notice how you feel, is your life making you sick or unhappy? If the answer is yes, you have a decision to make. Now, ask yourself these questions. 

1) Does this decision support your passion? 

2) Is this decision practical for this point and time in your life?

3) Are you jumping into something without thinking it through? Are you having the patience to take small steps to achieve your desired goals? Know that even after a decision has been made, it’s not the end-all…you can always change directions. Life is a bit like living by trial and error. When things don’t feel right in life, make decisions, (right or wrong) and look forward not back, embracing the change and new direction. Life is ever changing. We need to be mindful enough of these changes and have the flexibility to grow with them.