Christmas again…

By Sally Bonkrude
Gilpin County News Columnist

The rarely talked about, rather ugly, silent side of the holidays is the increase in depression and sometimes suicide.  It’s cold, the days short and the nights dark and long.  The lack of sunshine can increase the probability of depression for some people in and of itself.  Then, with the hype of the holidays we can feel like we can’t measure up to the picture perfect holiday scenes we see on TV or in the stores.  Add onto this even more stress.  We can become emotionally drained as painful memories of an unhappy childhood come to the surface.  We may be mourning the death of a loved one, family members living far away or not being able to be with family due to separation or divorce.  Add on top of these stressors the physical drain of the holidays.  There’s never enough time or energy to shop, clean, cook, decorate and do it all perfectly as we hold down full time jobs.  Layer on top of this stress the financial drain.  You don’t want to look like a loser by not coming up with some beautifully packaged and perfect presents for all your family members and friends.  Living on a tight budget with little discretionary money can lead to more debt, more worry and more depression.  Then come the parties, often with excess alcohol.  The movies and TV ads make it look like alcohol creates fun, but in actuality it can lead to depression in addition to the usual morning hangover of excess.  I know I’ve painted a painfully gloomy, depressive picture.  Sorry if I have dampened any happy holiday spirits.  If you find yourself in this predicament try some of these ideas to create a brighter holiday for a change.  If the holiday depression becomes severe, consult a professional.  It’s a sign of strength and a gift to yourself to face up to a problem rather then suffer in silence.

This year vow to do the holidays different from years past.  Take off the stress by getting out and exercising or try a yoga class.  Create a support system of family and friends to be with through the holidays.  If your family is a drain on your spirit, look to friends to help fill the void.  If you feel like you have no friends or family, make it your aim to create this in your life.  Ask for help.  Let people know you are lonely and need a friend. Have a plan for the holidays that fit your budget or lack of budget and include what truly makes you feel happy.  Begin a list immediately of what brings you joy and every week take action.  This doesn’t mean adding to your workload.  It may mean adding an extra bubble bath, going to a movie with a friend or just out for a drive to see the Christmas lights.  How about declaring an alcohol free holiday season?  Discover the joy in the season without being numbed out and disconnected.  If you find you feel like you HAVE to drink, or if you are angry with me for suggesting this idea, think about getting an alcohol assessment.  This assessment may be the most important gift you give to yourself or family.  During the holidays alcohol can definitely get people into trouble.  Why risk it?  Think about what messages you are sending to your children about the holidays and the importance of alcohol.

On a personal note, my Mother is coming for the holidays and talk about not being able to measure up.  I’m feeling the full brunt of inadequacy.  So, I’m working on letting go of the “perfect” Christmas, giving myself the gift of self-acceptance, a time to rest and definitely more bubble baths.